


Never Go Back

by artsygirl24



Category: Bleach
Genre: Anime, Bleach - Freeform, F/M, Fanfiction, Hollow - Freeform, Manga, Shinigami, zanpakuto
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2016-09-24
Packaged: 2018-03-31 05:57:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,974
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3966985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/artsygirl24/pseuds/artsygirl24
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if it wasn't too late to start a new life? A brand new bond between shinigami and zanpaktou is born amidst a new threat against Soul Society. Unbeknownst romance between two souls blooms meanwhile...whichever way the tides may turn, never go back...*will update soon! :)*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

(A/N: This is a story I had in my head for a while, starting off as a mere daydreaming about Muramasa. For now it's at the PG/PG-13 level, will up it to M later possibly. And the pairing is MuramasaXOC I took some liberties here with the OC, as she is an inserted member of the Kurosaki family. This story takes place after the Fullbringer Arc in the canon manga. Each chapter will be prefaced by a song that inspired me during the writing, so don't consider them as part of my work. :) Enjoy! Also, I do not own Bleach and its characters, OC is of my creation based off of Tite Kubo's work.)

Never Go Back

Chapter 1: Forbidden Boundaries Broken

"What You Want" (Evanescence)

Do what you, what you want  
If you have a dream for better  
Do what you, what you want  
'til you don't want it anymore (remember who you really are)

Do what you, what you want  
Your world's closing in on you now (it isn't over)  
Stand and face the unknown (got to remember who you really are)

Every heart in my hands  
Like a pale reflection

Hello, hello, remember me?  
I'm everything you can't control  
Somewhere beyond the pain  
There must be a way to believe  
We can break through

Do what you, what you want  
You don't have to lay your life down (it isn't over)  
Do what you, what you want  
'til you find what you're looking for (got to remember who you really are)

But every hour slipping by  
Screams that I have failed you

Hello, hello, remember me?  
I'm everything you can't control  
Somewhere beyond the pain  
There must be a way to believe

Hello, hello, remember me?  
I'm everything you can't control  
Somewhere beyond the pain  
There must be a way to believe

There's still time  
Close your eyes  
Only love will guide you home  
Tear down the walls and free your soul  
'Til we crash  
We're forever spiraling  
Down, down, down, down

Hello, hello  
It's only me infecting everything you love  
Somewhere beyond the pain  
There must be a way to believe

Hello, hello, remember me?  
I'm everything you can't control  
Somewhere beyond the pain  
There must be a way to learn forgiveness

Hello, hello, remember me?  
I'm everything you can't control  
Somewhere beyond the pain  
There must be a way to believe  
We can break through

Remember who you really are  
Do what you, what you want

"Karin, Yuzu! I'm going out for a walk around the park, tell Ichigo I'll go to the store when I come back." A chipper remark of assurance sounded from the kitchen. Sighing uneasily, Kurosaki Usagi swept her dark brown hair into a ponytail, fixing the ringlets that fell on either side of her face. Throwing on a light jacket and grabbing her bag, she headed down the hall towards the foyer to pull on and buckle her boots. She hesitated another moment to straighten her clothes and her racing thoughts, and quickly exited into the chilly and rainy autumn afternoon.

Usagi was special—no, it was more like her brother who was the special one, he who had given her abilities life through his own. Ichigo had attained shinigami powers of unorthodox ways that night with Kuchiki Rukia, and ever since then Usagi noticed something…different about herself, more and more every day. She would see people that were there in her eyes, though not in others'. Sounds, feelings, all her senses perked towards things that did not exist for others when asked—she felt she was losing her mind, until her brother realized what it was, broke down and reaffirmed her wonderings. He demonstrated to her what exactly entailed the making of a shinigami, or half-human, half-shinigami in their cases. Shock and amazement coalesced in Usagi's mind the first time she saw Ichigo transform from human to shinigami in seconds, wielding an unnaturally large katana. She never expected the supernatural to exist in such overwhelming proof, right in front of her—something she had staunchly neglected due to her belief in the cold hard facts in her study of the sciences and medicine. Though there was more to her austere exterior: she longed to feel different, wanted to even escape reality at times, to help those in need when it wasn't humanly possible, to be part of the solution. She loathed being a dry, boring statistic of society, but her yearning for freedom had almost been broken if it weren't for her brother's new-found powers that had somehow transferred to her.

Her black boots clicked on the icy pavement as she briskly walked towards the more rural areas of Karakura Town. "Yes, I am nothing without Ichigo, I wouldn't even be doing this if it weren't for him," Usagi thought sullenly. Ichigo was five years younger than her; she had always tried to be an inspiring role model and teach him and protect him from the world. Yet, it became Ichigo who assumed that role in the recent months. He had grown so much, in mind, body and spirit. He took the lead in awakening her own shinigami powers by introducing her to an unknown man named Urahara Kisuke, which she scolded him about ruthlessly for having involved himself in such a shady situation. However, she came to accept the strange man with the floppy green hat and cane, as she had with seeing the souls of the dead. It was uncomfortable to say the least having her literal "out-of-body" experience, her "soul chain" cut and put to the test of awakening her powers so early on. She didn't die then, but indeed was able to stop herself from becoming a hollow, unlike her brother who had acquired his own personal hollow during his training session.

Her sword's abilities however took on an unusual ability, more unusual than a normal zanpakuto: the released form "shikai" healed instead of causing harm. It was quite effective, rivaling that of Inoue's powers of rejection even. Despondent that she wouldn't be of any help on the battlefield, Usagi tried and tried to come up with any specificl way to attack opponents and not be the cause of any setbacks, but could never quite communicate to that extent with her zanpakuto. She did go as far as learning its name and shikai release, and as much as she tried to learn more techniques from her spirit, nothing worthwhile came out of it. Usagi smirked bitterly, "Am I only destined to heal, as I planned in my human life as a doctor?." She hated to put herself down, but couldn't help it when her not-so-little brother outshone her with his accomplishments—defeating countless hollows, arrancars, even a mastermind shinigami on outrageous levels of power, while she could only stand on the sidelines for most of the time. One tear in the heart is all it takes to make someone suffer.

Shaking her head of her gloom, Usagi noticed her surroundings of a torii nestled in between the thick of the forest. She decided to pass underneath it to the shrine a short way in to invoke a good luck charm for what she was endeavoring to find and do that day. "I can make myself useful, I just have to get out of this rut to believe in myself, I have the power to help Ichigo this time," she thought desperately, her hands pressed together as she bowed and rejoined her path along the rough forest trail. The wind was picking up as she neared her destination, thoughts still racing. It had become apparent that strange happenings were once again on the rise in Soul Society, a place where she and her brother had become highly respected and thus tightly connected to their goings-on. From Yoruichi's reconnaissance reports, it had seemed that many zanpaktous were mysteriously being stolen from their masters without a trace—completely stripped away, sword and all. They were now left to fend for themselves using kidou and other skills. It was no circumstance either that it was a case of simple thievery, for several prominent members of the Sereitei were victims, including a captain and a few lieutenants. They were sure to turn to Ichigo for help one way or another soon enough.

At first glance, Usagi was harkened back to the painful memories of the "rebellion" of the zanpaktou spirits that had happened not too long ago, where he had suffered humiliation and then death, all just to regain his status and connection to his master who couldn't care less. She still didn't understand why she felt so much for the aforementioned zanpaktou, even though he had caused much chaos and ruin to Soul Society; perhaps it was because of her own outlook and pursuance of an unattainable dream of becoming stronger that made her admire his silver linings more than his crimes, despite what Ichigo had said. He never touched her zanpaktou, due to her staying behind in Karakura Town at Urahara's request, so perhaps because she didn't experience the loss made her look at the whole picture of his goals.

Whatever it was did not relate entirely to the current situation at hand though, as she forced her personal thoughts away from Muramasa for a moment. In all honesty, Usagi was going to accept her meaningless role in the battlefield once again with the "missing zanapaktou" case, allowing Ichigo the reigns of the hero once again, until it hit her. It was a stupid, ridiculous, and laughable idea, and she pushed it back down in her consciousness again and again, but it persisted maddeningly, and finally she decided it would not hurt to try. She would just pass it off as an insane whim and would never tell anyone of her plan unless it succeeded. What was seen of the sky through the canopy of the surrounding pines was heavily ashen with the promise of rain, the wind picking up with a howl that could be mistaken for a shrieking voice of foreboding. As Usagi shivered and hastened in her travels through the woods, the terrain became more wild and thick with tree trunks and brambles littering the earth. She just knew it that there was something special that happened between her brother and Muramasa; she witnessed his departing and his last words of bonds between zanpaktou and master. She knew that this could be the key to the latest mystery: what better weapon to have on their side than the zanpaktou who can control other zanpaktous and enter their inner worlds?

Stumbling through the overgrown grass full of hidden logs and debris, Usagi felt other reasons for wanting to bring Muramasa back. For one, he had passed on with so much to live for, it left a bad taste in her mouth to learn of all he had gone through. She was there at that time, watching Ichigo hold his hand as he said his last words. Oh how she wished she hadn't just stood there! It had left a lasting impression upon her, haunting, remembering. The way he had smiled to Ichigo, speaking words of atonement, then he was nothing but a purple haze of light. Usagi admired everything about him at that moment, the pain, the loyalty, the sacrifice that he had given—it still brought a heavy weight of sadness upon her heart. All of the sudden, she was pulled abruptly from her reverie, startled at a distant sound. Her heart was pounding and could not help but to gasp from the scare she received. Waiting with bated breath, her eyes darted hither and thither, but could not see any danger through the darkness of the clump of trees she was in the middle of.

She reached to her bag for her shinigami daiko badge in case it was an unfriendly spiritual entity—she could at least do some decent swordplay to rid hollows. It had sounded like a strangled moan, but she wasn't taking any chances in case of a trap. She remained in the same spot for a minute, and after hearing nothing but the disturbing wind, and passing it off as a delusion upon her stressed mind, headed forward at a faster pace this time. Her sympathetic nervous system was working in full gear, alert to every sound around her besides the crunching of the leaves below her, but which still made her heart hammer in fright. "Get a hold of yourself Usagi, grow a backbone already!" she reprimanded herself. There was no turning back now, she had to see if her powers could bring about a better outcome for the high stakes of the situation in Soul Society, and earn some more respect than a sideline cheerleader with Inoue.

Light reflected from water up ahead into Usagi's eyes, shocking her in her brisk pace and causing her to instinctively hide behind a large tree. Realizing a split second later that she had simply reached her destination of the lake with an island outcropping, she sighed and smirked inwardly "So much for that backbone." Then there it was again, that harsh cry that curdled her blood. There was no mistaking it; someone was in pain or at least pretending to be, as her analytical mind raced with fear and logic. Looking left and right; nothing was there but the dark expanse of woods. "I guess there's no delaying it, I have to look," she thought timidly as she hugged the tree and slowly sidled around until she could poke her head out towards the lake. This was not an illusion, as much as she could not register it, that there was indeed a man on that outcropping, lying in the high grass. She turned back again after the first time in fear, taking a longer look, she saw his white clothing was tattered and bloody, his back to her. Usagi paused to listen and stare more at this man, his moans altering between soft and loud whimpers of pain. She felt her heart melt and skin crawl at the urge to help him, her doctor and motherly instincts getting the better of her. As she moved from behind the tree, the man at that moment gingerly put an arm out to push himself up shakily to a sitting position, his head hanging low. Letting out an audible gasp, she ran behind the tree, suddenly aware of the man's identity. Eyes wide with disbelief and tears, the man—no, zanpaktou, gasped out "Who's there?" before succumbing to a wracking coughing fit.

Usagi was frozen with incredulity. "Oh my gods, why is he here? HOW? I was supposed to find his broken sword and bring him back from there, somehow, what is going on?" Nervous tears stung her eyes, as she now feared this zanpaktou. She felt as if something heavy had dropped and settled in her stomach; her plan had not gone accordingly, to have him gain her trust through healing him was the first thing to do in order to formally ask him to help Ichigo. "Now he can attack me head on, and I can't fight him! But how on earth…?" she gripped her badge hard. His coughing stopped and she listened intently, hearing no more from him or her surroundings. She could perceive nothing but the whistle of the wind and the drumming of her heart. There was a "whoosh" in the air suddenly, which Usagi quickly attributed to the sound of someone flash-stepping. Then the crunch of leaves and heavy breathing coming closer to her hiding place was heard. Usagi, without wasting any further thought on it, hurriedly transformed into a shinigami and came face to face with the materialized zanpaktou.


	2. Restless Souls

**Chapter 2: Restless Souls**

**"Restless" (Within Temptation)**

She embraced, with a smile  
As she opened the door.  
A cold wind blows, it puts a chill into her heart.

You have taken away the trust,  
you're the ghost haunting through her heart.  
Past and present are one in her head,  
you're the ghost haunting through her heart.

Take my hand as I wonder through,  
All my life I gave to you.  
Take my hand as I wonder through,  
All my love I gave to you.

You have taken away the trust,  
you're the ghost haunting through her heart.

Take my hand as I wonder through,  
All my life I gave to you.  
Take my hand as I wonder through,  
All my love I gave to you.

* * *

 

Time certainly seized itself in that moment, paralyzing the two figures in the woods who stood as still as souls, while the gusty wind whipping around them belied the reality. Vibes of fear and trepidation bounced off between them, creating a dissonance of unease. Their eyes locked intensely, two chocolate brown and two pale blue, the messages behind the irises daring the other to make the first move. Then, the latter pair of eyes turned from livid to forgiving recognition, then back to caution. "You!," whispered the man in a hoarse voice, clenching his now-lowered sword in his right hand.

Usagi's mind was a tangle of fright and desperation, as if she had just walked into a lion's den searching for a treasure—only to find that treasure to be the lion. As the zanpakuto in front of her spoke that solitary word of "acknowledgement", she felt a great weight lift away from her head, but which instead strangely relocated to her heart. She returned the gesture of lowering her katana, the silver blade glinting from the reflection of the blustery water. No words could she express to her lucky stars of her enormous gratitude for escaping the foreseen danger at hand—for now at least.

It didn't dawn on her that she had been shaking, staring at Muramasa for some time, unconsciously taking in the details of his likewise-trembling form and figure: his white coat had been ripped in many places across his chest and torso and down by his feet; his fur collar and ascot slightly askew; blood, fresh and dry, clung to and dyed the fabric in its macabre color of reddish-black death, the adhesiveness of the clotting pulling the coat even tighter around his body than before. The pallid zanpaktou was breathing raggedly, leaning forward every time to exhale as if it was causing him great pain to do so. His eyebrows drew together in an annoyed expression, likely due to her lack of response. Through all this, his sudden facial movement snapped Usagi out of her reverie.

"I-I'm sorry! I didn't mean to stare…I—how?" It was all Usagi could muster in her pressured state. Muramasa's eyes showed a glint of confusion, regarding the shinigami girl in front of him, her slight figure shuddering from nerves beneath her black shihakushō, but her sincere eyes held her true feelings. His body and mind were ablaze with pain, agony, and confusion, and though running into this girl had greatly frayed those tensions of his untimely injuries, he felt a small sense of relief at her presence, though he did not know why. Taking a deeper breath to steady his vocal chords, he attempted to speak urgently, "What are you doing here, woman?" However, all that came out was a wheezing rasp that he did not recognize as his usual dulcet tones. Suddenly, he grasped at his throat as he felt another stronger wave of coughing overtake him, dropping his sword on the hard earth with a clatter.

Usagi felt the breath that she had unconsciously been holding rush past her lips, quickly sheathed her sword in the scabbard on her hip, walked to his side and stopped, her hands poised inches from him in her uncertainty to physically touch and comfort him. Her hands snapped to his shoulders though when his knees started to buckle, much to both of their surprise. "Are you ok?! I-I'm just trying to help you, I come in peace," Usagi said nervously, holding him steady against her. Muramasa's eyes opened in slits, and as his wracking breaths calmed to forced puffs of air, he felt something warm and wet spill over his eyes and trickle down his face in rivets. He wasn't going to last long without it—that bond which he had been searching for and ruminating on in his limbo-like encounter which he had hitherto inexplicably escaped. His pain-muddled mind was grasping onto consciousness as long as he could— _"I have to use this chance"_ he deliberated silently, and entreated barely above a whisper, "H-Help me…take me t-to him." His eyes rolled back and collapsed forward into her arms, knocking out her breath as she struggled to hold up his unexpected weight.

With care, she maneuvered her arms under his and around his back into an embrace, his chin lolling on her shoulder as she lowered them both to the ground. _"Shit, this is not good,"_ Usagi thought desperately, gently turning him over and laying his head on her lap, shakily brushing the tendrils of hair that covered his sweaty face, bloody tear tracks freshly shed over his prominent cheekbones. Her fingers stopped in their caress to feel his forehead, which emanated much heat from fever. His chest was rapidly rising and falling as he continued to struggle with his ailment in his unconscious state. _"What happened to him?"_ Lips quivering, Usagi quickly unsheathed her zanpaktou once more, putting one hand in front of the other on the handle, calling, "Embrace and revive, Aigyou Hoyou!"

A rainbow burst of pastel-colored light emanated from the hilt to the tip of the katana, the blade disappearing and becoming vines of the same light that encircled Usagi's arms, ending at her elbows. In her palms were two large orchids of mysterious beauty, each shining blues, greens, and purples like gems. She outstretched her hands over his most serious wound across his shoulder and chest and concentrated: the flowers opened up with a strong glow, from whence shot forth more vines that smoothly wrapped themselves around his torso. Almost immediately the wounds began turning a lighter pink and closed from the assistance of the reiatsu flowing from the vines to the skin and tissues. The technique took some time working its way around his body, and was getting tougher for her to finish from the sheer work it required in reiatsu supply. All the while, Usagi was thinking hard. _"What did he mean by 'take me to_ 'him' _?! Was it Ichigo or his old master that he was referring to?! And how is he still here in this deserted place?!"_

As she turned to his last set of injuries—a cut along his head she had missed—Muramasa's eyes fluttered open drowsily, focusing on her after a moment, his body stiffening. "It's ok, I'm healing you now, don't move until it's done," she said a little too sternly. Catching herself, Usagi blushed and looked away for a second, then back down at him. His turquoise eyes encircled by the maroon marks held a strange amalgamation of emotions—puzzlement was one she could recognize in part. His breathing had returned to near normal, and seemed to be calming himself with a deep inhale before speaking. "Why are you helping me instead of ridding me of my existence?"

This was not exactly the words she expected to come out of the mysterious man's mouth. "Huh? Well, I-I—you see, the truth is...I came hoping to find you." Whatever the zanpaktou was waiting to hear, that was not it either. His mouth opened in a small "o" of surprise, which he snapped shut with a perturbed expression, as though angry at himself for showing such emotion. "Just for me, you say?" he sighed bitterly, "For what purpose could I possibly serve you? You did not attempt to save me before, so why now, woman? I have no desire to be subjected to one's guilty conscience." A roll of thunder echoed in the distance. Usagi looked away nervously as tears crept into her eyes; the vines around his head unraveled and returned to her palms, the fluorescent flowers returning in turn to the sealed state of her zanpaktou. She did not want to outright ask him to join her in her quest as a mercenary, not after his words had thrown her off-track; her emotions were inadvertently overpowering her composure once again.

Muramasa was taken aback by her sudden show of despondency, and felt a pang of self-loathing for putting on such a hateful and ungrateful mask. _"She is just trying to be kind you imbecile, like that other girl,"_ he growled inwardly at himself. He tried to sit up fast and apologize face-to-face but soon regretted it—his head swirled from the change in position and possibly from his blood loss, and fell back against his elbows. "Ah, you shouldn't have done that!" said the shinigami as she snapped her head up to look at him worriedly, a hand on his shoulder. Wincing slightly, he shook his head to clear it of the haziness, and looked her sharply in the eye. "I am aware of that now, thank you." Softening his tone, he continued, "But perhaps there is something you can do for me, shinigami. You are connected to Kurosaki Ichigo, are you not?"

With a hasty adjustment in expression, Usagi finally spoke, "Yes, I'm actually his sister." Muramasa quirked an eyebrow up and smirked. "Fascinating, another Kurosaki who has joined the ranks of shinigami status. It must run in the family if you are all indeed human?" Surprised at the drastic change in the spirit's demeanor, Usagi took the conversation in stride, feeling more confident in her plan after all. "Er, well you could say that... So, what is it you need, er, Muramasa is it?" She knew full well his name, though felt it impolite not to allow him another introduction. The zanpaktou looked at her warily, and then with a slight upturn of his lips, whispered, "Yes, my name is Muramasa. I wish to speak to your brother; I have a pressing favor to ask of him, and I must hurry before—" he sighed and shuddered, closing his eyes for a few seconds, and Usagi gasped. His body was becoming transparent in patches, fading in and out. Then the spell was over, and Muramasa opened his eyes again, the wild wind whipping his limp hair around his sallow face. "Please, as you can see," he beseeched breathlessly. She nodded in understanding.

Without another word, Usagi jumped to a position to help him up, one arm under his for support, to which he reacted strongly, then fell limp. "I thank you greatly, forgive me, what is your name, woman?," Usagi stopped in her haste, and gazed into his turquoise eyes, feeling heat rise in her cheeks from their proximity. "Ah! It's Usagi. Kurosaki Usagi." She paused, continuing to stare into his clear blue eyes, until she remembered something important. "Wait, I need to change back into my body—here hold on to this tree."

Leaving him leaning against a pine, she pulled her human body into a sitting position from where she left it behind the tree and became one with it once more. As he started to slip down the bark, she hurriedly resumed her hold on Muramasa, they began their three-legged journey back out of the woods. They had no time to preconceive it when a loud clap of thunder sounded and rolled through the heavens, and at that, a heavy cloud of icy torrential rain descended upon them through the trees, halting their movements. Muramasa gripped her shoulder tightly, and Usagi dug in her bag for the umbrella she had thankfully brought with her. "Here!," she cried over the storm, unable to see from the rain or darkness. "Let's get out of here as soon as we can!"

It seemed to take an hour to get out of the water-logged brush, as the rain poured and poured, obstructing their path, both of them tripping and in danger of falling any minute. Worried that Muramasa was falling ill fast, with his shallow breathing any sign, Usagi was determined to press on and get back to her house as soon as possible. She knew now that his favor for Ichigo had to be the same as the favor she had hoped to ask of him first—now only if Ichigo would comply, then it would be like killing two birds with one stone, and it was only a matter of time before the lone zanpaktou passed away without any reiatsu source to share and grow with.

At long last, they reached the street of her house, the weight of her companion heavy against her shoulder. "Almost there now, Muramasa-san," she called over the rain. "A-ah," was all he could gasp out, his eyes unfocused on the moving ground below him. They were at the doorstep a few minutes later, chilly rain water dripping off their clothes, for the small umbrella had been no match for the storm's gales. Usagi banged on the door urgently, shouting out, "Ichigo! Dad, anyone? Hurry up and open the door!"

A second later a loud annoyed grumble was heard behind the door, which was flung open to reveal a tall gangly teenager with bright orange hair and a scowl. "Yeah, yeah, calm down Usagi, you've been in the rain before, no need to yell—" He stopped, seeing who was leaning on his sister, his face frozen in a comical countenance as his hand rose and pointed in disbelief. Muramasa, his eyes half-lidded, lifted his head in a somnambular sort of way, smirked and whispered, "Hello, Kurosaki Ichigo, I believe you will be most helpful in assisting me." With that he fainted against Usagi for the second time that evening.


End file.
